Is Some Worship Music Too Feminine for Men?

15. February 2010 by admin.

One of the issues that have come up in discussion with other worship leaders is; how do we get men to be more expressive in worship, or even participate at all?  This is a great question.  I see it all of the time, even men who have a vibrant relationship with the Lord often seem sedate in some worship settings.  I have wondered at times about the style and characteristics of certain worship choruses and how men relate to them.  I live in Western South Dakota, and everybody drives a four wheel drive and packs a gun.  Men are men and proud of it, and there is not a lot of interest in getting in touch with their feminine side.  Men relate differently to issues of intimacy than women do.  And so much of our praise music is about intimacy with the Lord, as it should be.  I have been in worship services where the song lyric is somewhere out of “Song of Solomon” and it is talking about longing for the kisses of your mouth, and going into the kings chamber… the women are weeping and the men are rolling their eyes at each other or burying their head in their hands, trying not to look disrespectful, but praying to God that this song would end really soon, and the twenty two year old boy with spiky hair would get married soon to relieve all of his sexual tension…Of course many of the men are raising their hands and worshiping, because they stopped concentrating about the middle of the second verse.  And others need no stimulus to worship and can relate fine because it is using something out of scripture, even though this would never be a song they would choose if they were leading. Besides the worship leader likes it and he is a really nice guy.

I think that often worship songs in their attempt to express intimacy are too feminized for men to relate to…now I know that statement is going to get me in all kinds of trouble.  Our society has worked so hard at making men and women the same that the church does it too…Men and Women are not the same and never will be…and we relate to God differently.  You can’t expect men to express their love for God the same way Women do.  Some women may easily relate to God as a lover, but, a man may relate to God more as a warrior.  I think everyone relates to God’s grace, kindness, and tenderness.  We all long for his love and intimacy.  But, I see men much more responsive when songs talk about His power and glory and might than I do with songs that are wordy and contemplative.  There are lots of men out there that are artists and poets and can spend their lives in the vast uncharted land of metaphors, contemplation, and allegory. But most men don’t get it and that is Okay.  I am not saying throw out all of the intimate songs, but don’t expect men to respond the same way the women do.  Give the men some songs about the powerful attributes of God, and how mighty He is, and you might see your men praising a little more.  Slurppy worship love songs are kind of like chick flix, guys might put up with them but that doesn’t mean they relate to them…      

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